April 7, 2014

A survey led by Ivy League political scientists suggests that only 1 out of 6 Americans knows where the Ukraine is. A related study suggests that 6 out of 6 Ivy League political scientists mistakenly believe anyone gives a shit about answering their survey questions.

NASA will soon crash an orbiting lunar probe into the surface of the moon because they’re done with it now. However, if the Russians or Chinese start playing with it, they’ll want it back.

A car was stolen in Greensboro last night by two male suspects who brandished a handgun and told the victim to hand over the keys. Police are investigating anyone in their department who might have been involved in a buddy cop movie.

 

 

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