August 28, 2017

Bengals’ linebacker Vontaze Burfict has received a five game suspension after attacking an unsuspecting opponent. In Vontaze’s defense the fullback was refusing to reveal the secret of Man’s Red Flower and would surely spell doom for Cincinnati.

An Indian guru known as Dr. Saint Gurmeet Ram Rahim has been sentenced to ten years in prison for rape. Who would have thought that a man who feels the need to assure you that he is both a doctor and a saint on first introduction would turn out to be a bad guy?

This makes me somewhat suspicious of the Reverend Superman Fox and the Rabbi Messiah Cat.

Hurricane Harvey has devastated the Gulf Coast. The new churro-cane from Hardee’s has devastated my colon.

Fifty inches of water will leave neither clean.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.