August 18, 2017

Tony Schwartz, the co-author of historical footnote current president Donald Trump’s memoir The Art of the Deal predicts that Trump will resign shortly. Trump will, of course, frame his resignation in victorious terms, proclaiming his successes far greater and more numerous than they were and his failures as the faults of others. Either that, or he’ll take the entire world down with him in a barrage of mushroom clouds. So if he does go out peaceably, let’s just nod vigorously, say nothing, and move on with our country.

The oldest known American celebrates her 114th birthday today. When asked for comment she said: “I can murder with impunity.” But that was the same thing she said last year.

Pop star Katy Perry has delayed her latest world tour due to production delays. The ghost of her ancestor Commodore Perry has suggested a solution: “Steam Power, my girl!”

Japanese fans in particular are concerned.


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