July 28, 2017

Leonard Landy from the cast of Our Gang has passed away. Per the tontine, Robert Blake comes one step closer to the Eye of Spanky.

The current head football coach of USC says that notable alumnus OJ Simpson is not welcome back on campus, which sucks because the seventy year old Simpson was totally planning to crash in the bushes outside his girlfriend’s dormitory.

After failing yet again to repeal affordable healthcare for millions of Americans, Senate Majority Geoduck / Minority Human Mitch McConnell has stated: “It’s time to move on.” He then wriggled his shriveled-penis-like body to maneuver a millimeter in the soggy sand in which he has spent all 150 years of his subterranean existence.

Air France-KLM, Delta Air Lines, and Virgin Atlantic have signed a provisional agreement to create “the most comprehensive transatlantic route network” in the world. To honor the original “most comprehensive transatlantic route network” in the world they will change their names to La Nina, La Pinta, and La Santa Maria.



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