President Trump has issued several tweets attempting to shift focus from his campaign’s highly-possible illicit dealings with Russia on to Hillary Clinton’s first-time-anyone-has-ever-heard-of-it dealings with Ukraine. Let’s unpack:
- Hillary Clinton is not president.
- Russia invaded and annexed Crimea, formerly a part of Ukraine, only a few years ago. Their relationship is analogous to the Galactic Empire vs. the Rebel Alliance.
- Is he trying to compare Hillary Clinton with Princess Leia?
- Princess Leia was awesome. That’s like, obvious, right?
- HILLARY CLINTON IS NOT PRESIDENT
Trump also joked that after questioning his 36 year old son-in-law Jared Kushner, investigators would next focus on Trump’s 11-year old son Baron. Baron’s middle name must be Munchausen.
In other horrible people news: an Evangelical church / cult named the Word of Faith Fellowship is gaining notoriety, having expanded from Spindale, North Carolina into Brazil where they have repressed education, split apart families, and enforced a brutal doctrine which includes a ban on wearing jeans. The only explanation can be that the sect’s founder, Jane Whaley, once saw Stephen King’s The Stand, wherein the devil / “Randall Flagg” is depicted as sporting a sinful denim on denim ensemble. Watch the mini-series. Try not to start an oppressive religion full of bullshit.