It’s important to always keep a sunny disposition. That way people can ignore you as you constantly explode for a billion years.
If you can’t speak to someone with respect, don’t talk politics.
I don’t like to clean my toilet so when I pee, I pee really hard. That blasts some stuff off.
Fruit flies but can be captured easily through use of a well placed conjunction.
To humans, calling other humans stupid is as vital as breathing. It’s less important for stupid animals.
I’ve got two tickets to paradise due to my weight problem.
Loneliness goes best with breakfast, bad with lunch, and terrible with cannibalism.
Yes, Virgina, there is a Santa Claus. He lives at the North Pole with Frankenstein’s monster: Odd Couple Style.